Anger has a way of eating us up inside. Instead of making things better, it just makes us bitter. It’s natural to have some angry feelings over a failing marriage, particularly when facing the prospect of a messy divorce, but if you hold on to that anger it can overwhelm your life and negatively impact your family, friends and co-workers.
Understanding how to deal with your anger so that it doesn’t cause you more heartache is an important skill to develop. First of all, think before you speak or act. Reacting impulsively can be dangerous. Next, set some limits for yourself and others in your relationships; know when to speak when to be quiet, and when to walk away.
Here is a simple self-assessment to aid you in recognizing if anger has become a significant issue in your life.
- Do inconsequential things upset me? Does this happen more now than before divorce became part of my life?
- Is my behavior inconsistent? Do people comment on my reactions to similar circumstances, saying sometimes I’m low key, and sometimes riled?
- Is my anger displaced? Am I lashing out and hurting people closest to me? Do I find that they want to spend less time with me since I started (or completed) the process of divorce?
If you answered, “yes” to any of these questions, you may want to seek out help. There are online courses that can help you with your anger management. In addition, Orange County and L. A. County have therapists that specialize in divorce and post-divorce difficulties that can help you deal with anger.
Taking charge of the legal, financial and emotional aspects of your divorce can also give you a feeling of control and help alleviate stress and anger. Get the help you need in all of these important areas as soon as possible!