You’re lucky enough to live in beautiful, sunny southern California. Orange County life is the best there is, right? But then divorce appears on the horizon and brings with it emotional storms and financial earthquakes. It can be very difficult. Here are some tips to help bring sunshine back into your life.
1. Stay Calm
Everything’s always OK in the end. If it isn’t OK, it isn’t the end.
2. Start with the Basics
Talk to an attorney, a financial planner, a realtor and a psychologist. Those are the four professionals who can help you to start moving forward.
3. Surround Yourself with Family and Supportive Friends
In adverse situations, you often find out who your best friends are, and sometimes you find out who your friends aren’t. It’s important to weed out the people that are not supportive of you.
4. Acknowledge that Your Life Will be Different
Your life will never be the same, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good life, a fulfilling life, a better life than you had before.
5. Research, Research, Research
Find out what’s possible. Read books. Talk to psychologists. Get online and find out all the facts of the things that you need to know to help your life move forward. Go to a Second Saturday Divorce workshop.
6. Treat Yourself to Something Special
Get a massage. Take a day trip somewhere. Go out to lunch with some friends that you haven’t seen for a while, but do something to pamper yourself.
7. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Ask yourself the question, what was I supposed to learn from this marriage and how might I do things differently in the future?
8. Remember: Your Happiness is Up to You
No one can make you happy. It’s up to you to move forward and learn to do the things that will bring joy and love and laughter into your life.
9. Learn Forgiveness
Talk to a psychologist. Read some books on forgiveness. Get some tapes on forgiveness. The sooner you can learn to forgive, the sooner you can get on with your life.
10. Live with Gratitude
Notice and acknowledge the good things in your life — large and small — that bring joy and happiness to your life. Everything from a beautiful sunset to the smile of a baby.