We’ve all heard of the breakup rebound. No one wants to be “a rebound” and most people think you should stay away from making that type of “mistake.” Most divorce experts will tell you to stay away from people you’re interested in and refrain from dating or one night stands when you first split. However, Jennifer Nagy suggests that recent divorcees jump straight into a rebound relationship.
Of course, she’s not referring to the committed, long-term, monogamous type of relationship. Some may consider this to be scandalous advice, but Nagy does make several good points. Here are her five reasons:
1. You’re not ready for a serious relationship. Many people who are mid-divorce have already singled someone else out that they’d like to date. It’s not uncommon. However, he/she is most likely not as ready as he/she thinks to commit to someone else. It’s important to figure out what went wrong in your marriage, and why you’re divorcing or separating. That takes some serious time and contemplation. And a long-term, committed relationship won’t help that process.
2. It’s fun. That’s all that really needs to be said about that. Divorce and separation are not easy, and someone to explore Orage County with, go on dates, or become intimate without a serious commitment can be fun for a lot of people.
3. It can make the married to single transition easier. That being said, rebound relationships are only healthy if both parties have the same intent. It needs to be discussed. Don’t just assume you’re on the same page. If you are, rebounds can be a nice way to find the comfort, social life, and intimacy that divorcees are lacking when they are first single again.
4. It will help you figure out what you’re looking for. Although it may not be a serious relationship, you’ll still have the opportunity to find out what you want in your next partner. You’ll start to better understand what your non-negotiables are, and the things you need to see in someone to avoid going through another divorce or separation.
5. It could turn into a real relationship. It’s rare, but it could happen. A word of caution: you have to be ready to be 100% with the fact that it probably won’t be something real to reap the benefits of a rebound relationship. But it could happen, and then you won’t have to deal with the potential single loneliness or the post-divorce dating game.