When people get married, it’s usually with the best of intentions and filled with love and hope. They believe, or at least hope, their marriages will be successful.
But, couples do break up — in many ways, and for many reasons — often reach their breaking point when one or both parties in the relationship decide the pain of leaving is more bearable than the pain of staying together. Emotional pain. Financial pain. Physical pain. Sometimes all three. Statistics vary, but around three out of four marriages end in divorce in Orange County, and that’s a lot of pain. The only way to absolutely avoid a divorce is to not get married — but that’s not a good plan for most people.
A happy marriage is the envy of all, a successful partnership on the deepest levels. Every marriage has challenges but good communication is vital to overcoming them. Ideally, establishing good communication is done early on while the couple is dating and getting to know one another. Couples contemplating marriage or cohabitation should talk about what they expect from each other before they marry or live together.
If they intend to have children, couples should agree on how they will raise them and provide for them. They should agree on their jobs inside and outside the home, (the “marital division of labor”), what roles each will play in the marriage. They should clearly and honestly talk about money, property, and how they intend to handle them. They should talk about sex. If couples talk frankly about these core issues before they get married, their chances of avoiding divorce go way up.
Not every couple takes sufficient time to establish good communication up front, and sometimes good communication breaks down. Almost by definition, the quality of a relationship is measured by the quality of communication between the parties in it. Even good marriages often suffer from poor communication. At worst, communication breaks down so completely that professional help is needed to restore, change or terminate the relationship. Marriage and family therapists can often help build or restore communication between spouses.
When it gets to the point that a family law attorney is needed, it may already be too late to save your marriage so start working on your relationship today.