No one gets divorced because they are happy or because they feel like their life is solid and balanced. A divorce will fundamentally change your life, breaking up a partnership that – no matter how bad it feels now – was once a bedrock of your life. Oftentimes, divorce is preceded by great amounts of stress, self-doubt, painful fights, and possibly even emotional or physical abuse. These stresses can’t be contained in the walls of your bedroom and will bleed out into your social life, the office, and possibly into your role as a parent. For these reasons, it might be a good idea for you to consider signing up for therapy as you consider whether a divorce is the right option for you.
Now Is the Time for Introspection
There are many different kinds of therapeutic options you can choose and a wide variety of therapists within each type of discipline. No matter which type of therapy you choose, the primary benefit is that the therapist will guide you through some important introspection. In the emotional storm of a divorce, it can be difficult for you to take a step back to really see what’s going on outside of your own little bubble.
A therapist can help you understand why you feel the way you do, why you act out in certain ways, and how your behaviors are affecting your relationship. A therapist may also be able to help you decide if a divorce is truly what you want or if your marriage might be worth trying to save.
The ones we love have the power to hurt us the most, and this is so true when it comes to our spouses. If you do decide to move forward with your divorce, you may have to endure months of divorce negotiations with your spouse. The person you once loved may lash out with criticism, ugly language, or even threats. He or she may tell you that you are un-loveable and worthless, that you are nothing without him or her.
Therapy is a way for you to learn that the words of your spouse only have the power that you give them. Your therapist can help you develop a more empowered mindset by focusing on your strengths and giving you exercises to banish the negative thoughts that your spouse’s words nourish.
Finally, we all need an emotional release, especially during divorce. Your therapist is your confidant, the person to whom you can confess your fears, your ugliest thoughts, and your worries for the future. While you may feel the need to be strong in front of your children, you can cry in your therapist’s office. The emotional release can be cathartic.
Best of all, your therapist is trained to help you look forward to the future. Many therapists help their patients set goals, which is imperative after your divorce. You will need to rebuild your life and determine who you are now that you are no longer partnered with your spouse. Your therapist can help you define your new self.
You shouldn’t go through divorce alone, which is why a therapist can be an important member of your divorce team. Another important member is your divorce attorney. If you live in Orange County, call Bohm Wildish to schedule a consultation with a highly qualified attorney who is ready to help you!