Bohm Wildish, Orange County Family Law Firm: Valentine’s Day is a day full of love and happiness for many people, and a day of loneliness for many others. People who have recently gone through a divorce or separation, or who are currently in the process, might have it hardest. Romance and love seems to be everywhere. The decorations and colors of pink, red and white seem exceptionally over the top this year. And all of it might make you feel like a failure because you no longer have love. But that’s not the way to approach this Hallmark holiday.
First of all, realize that you’re not alone. The “obnoxious” people in love will stand out more, but remember that there are millions of people in a similar situation to yours. More than 75% of marriages in California end in divorce according to family law statistics, a fact that our Orange County and Los Angeles clients are stunned by. And most people know that more than 50% of marriages in the country end in divorce. While it’s sad that many marriages don’t last, it’s at least a little comforting knowing that you’re not alone.
Here are a few things you can do this week, or on Valentine’s Day, to make it a little easier:
- Send yourself something special
- Plan a lunch with a friend or family member
- Stay home and watch your favorite movie or TV show
- Make a special Valentine’s Day project or buy something for your children to show them how much you love them
- Treat yourself: a spa day, your favorite meal, your favorite spot in the city
People say they feel “pathetic” treating themselves, which makes no sense. You should love yourself, and you deserve to be treated. And you have friends and family members who would love for you to show them affection this week, so focus your energy on that. Divorce is a transition, and not an easy one. It can feel especially difficult on a holiday like Valentine’s Day, but just know that it will get easier. And how you feel on a semi-fake holiday should be no reflection of your success or happiness.