A fairly new term in the divorce world is “Gray Divorce,” referring to the rising rate of divorce among baby boomers. Given that the rate is rising fast enough in California to coin a term, we thought we’d share HuffPost’s best tips for baby boomers going through a divorce or separation.
1) Develop self compassion. People who divorce older may have a harder time forgiving themselves for the mistakes they’ve made. You’ve lived longer and have, therefore, probably made more mistakes. But you’ve also done more good than most younger people, so don’t forget that as well. Life is full of mistakes. But it’s defined by how we move on from them.
2) Create a new support system. You may find yourself lacking friends or family to surround yourself with and it can feel daunting. Be proactive about this. Being volunteering, joining organizations, meeting other single people, etc. You will make new friends, but just know that it takes effort and time.
3) Dealing with adult children. Divorcing later in life may mean that your kids are adults now. But realize that they’re still your kids, and they shouldn’t be your friend or coach throughout the process. Find someone who is less attached to the situation to walk you through it and comfort you. Your kids will want to be there for you, but make sure to set boundaries for their sake.
4) Date. Think of this as making new friends. If that person doesn’t turn out to be romantically compatible, you can still make a new friend. Many people think they’re “too old” to date. But that is just not true. If you look at the divorce rates and the “Gray divorce” trend, there are many people your age divorcing who are also looking to date. Try dating online. Have a friend set you up. Join singles or church groups. Put yourself out there. What’s the worst that could happen? (Be safe, of course.)
Remember, it’s never to late to re-start your life. Just because your new starting point is later in life than others doesn’t mean your life is over. Take advantage of their change just as everyone else should.