Taking to Children About Divorce

HealthNewsDigest recently posted an article with tips regarding how to talk to your kids about divorce, and we thought we’d share the information here. Telling your kids that you will be splitting from your spouse is one of the hardest things a parent can do. Depending on the age of your children, they may not fully comprehend why it’s happening or how it involves them.

One of the most important things to remember is that you need to keep a positive attitude and assure them of their security. Their parental unit is being torn apart, and they will most likely feel scared for their stability within the family.

Who should tell the children? And when? If possible, you should talk to your kids together. This will show that although things will change, you’re both still the parents and you’re still a family unit. Think about what questions they may have and and agree on your answers prior to telling them. When- asap. Don’t tell them before you’re sure that you’ll be getting a divorce or separation… but tell them as soon as you know.

What should you say? The truth. Tell them why but keep in mind their age, and what they might be able to handle. Are they mature enough to hear all the details, or do they need to hear all the details? Don’t tell them things just to turn them against your spouse, tell them in a simple manner why you’re really splitting. Encourage them to be honest with you. You need to know what they’re really feeling and thinking in order to answer their questions and know what you may need to do to prep them for the coming months. Acknowledge that you know it won’t be easy for them, and it’s ok if they’re upset or sad. Let them know that whenever they have processed their feelings and are ready to talk, you’ll be there.

Don’t overcompensate with gifts or lacking discipline. Be their parent, not their friend. Show them that not everything will change, and you’re still a family.