Sex After Divorce

Bohm Wildish: Divorce Advice – Here’s a taboo topic for women. You’ve been with the same man for five, ten, or thirty years and now you’re divorced. You’ll most likely start dating again. Depending on how quickly you want to take things, you’ll eventually start having sex again… most likely. You’ve only slept with one person for many years (probably) and this might make things a little difficult in the beginning, right?

Author Jackie Pilossoph weighs in on what sex is like post-divorce. Jackie states that the first time you have sex post-divorce is “monumental.” It can be sad, happy, scary, exciting, cautious, wild, etc. No matter it’s like, it’s a big first step. Here are the many things that may happen that first time you do it again. If you know what might happen, you’ll be more prepared for all possible scenarios.

1. You are too self-conscious. Your husband saw your body for years and you were more comfortable with him than anyone. But now you’re separated and someone new gets to examine you physically. Women are overly critical on their own bodies. Just eat healthy and you’ll start to feel in shape, and eventually you will be in good shape. But more important, be confident with the way you look. He likes you for you. So be you and love you, and you’ll both have a great time.

2. Tears. It’s the one comical thing about sex you see in movies that you hope never happens to you. Don’t plan on it, but know that there is a chance you’ll be for more emotional post-sex than you’ve ever been. It was your first time having sex with someone other than your ex in an extremely long time (or ever). So don’t be too hard on yourself if you cry, and your new partner shouldn’t be either.

3. You try to turn him into your next husband. Because sex before tonight was only something you did under the boundaries of marriage, you may automatically start thinking of your new partner as your potential new husband. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You probably aren’t ready to start thinking like that, and he most likely isn’t either. You will scare him off, almost guaranteed if you start bringing up marriage again.

4. No condom. Sure, you didn’t use one for the past 20 years, but this isn’t your spouse! No matter what he says, you can’t be sure he’s clean and your health should be your #1 priority! Don’t take that risk. Get back into the mindset that you will ABSOLUTELY not have sex with someone without using protection. Think about this now before you’re in the heat of the situation and you do what y0u’ve done the past 20 years instinctively (no protection). No protection: no sex.

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