Five Lessons Learned from Divorce

Bohm Wildish: Orange County Family Law – People always say that we learn and grow the most when life isn’t easy. But is that true when dealing with something as awful as divorce? Absolutely. No one wants to divorce until they realize they really need to, and it can be devastating. But there is a silver lining. The best life lessons are often found what we experience unanticipated change or loss, such as a divorce or separation.

Read the five lessons that Lisa Arends discovered when she went through her divorce. You might realize many of the same things.

  1. With gratitude, everything is a gift. You may not be able to change what’s happening, but you can always change your attitude. Many people spend way too long being bitter, angry, depressed, anxious, etc. How you react actually is a choice, believe it or not. Radical gratitude- being thankful for the people that have hurt you. (Being thankful for the good parts of them and thankful for the bad parts that taught you important life lessons.)
  2. Happiness is my choice. Remember when you used to think that your spouse was what/who made you happy. It’s time to change that mindset. You make yourself happy because you choose to be happy and you choose to see the best in every situation.
  3. The past won’t stay buried. You know those qualities in your spouse you once saw but hoped you would never see again? If you’re divorcing I’m guessing you saw them again. Running from someone’s past and hoping they won’t make the same mistakes is a wish, not a plan.
  4. Life is not a waiting room. Putting life off can be easy. Avoidance, denial and intentional forgetfulness all contribute to our way of living. But when divorce comes and sweeps away everything you were putting off, you’ll learn not to put off anything. Because you never know how much time you’ll have to accomplish those things.
  5. Holding is love; clinging is fear. Most clingy people don’t realize or admit that they’re clingy to their spouses. Don’t cling, and you won’t be nearly as desperate from an outcome or a result in your relationships. Learn to relax and let go a bit. Don’t grasp; hold.

Be open to new lessons through a divorce and persevere even through the most difficult times.

Bohm Wildish
Orange County Family Law Attorneys
Irvine, CA

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