A recent article in Reuters points to a few trends relating to divorcing couples and how the split affects their parents. According to the article, the AARP reported that a quarter of grandparents spend more than $1,000 a year on their grandchildren, and 37 percent help cover daily living expenses. However, grandparents’ rights to spend time with their grandchildren have become increasingly smaller since 2000 when the U.S. supreme court ruled in Troxel v. Granville. The court struck down a Washington state law that allowed courts to order visitation rights for grandparents in the child’s “best interest.” Many states since then have followed suit and struck down similar laws.
Grandparents’ contributions are very important to American families, but their rights to see their grandchildren post-divorce don’t always seem to match the time and money they invest.
Grandparents in California can file for visitation rights if: the parents live separately, a parent’s whereabouts are unknown, the child has been adopted by a stepparent or the child does not live with either parent. Generally, the judge may grant gradnparents who live close by a few hours each week and one weekend a month if it’s in the child’s best interest. Grandparents who don’t live nearby might receive two or three visits per year. In California, the court must find that the grandparents had a preexisting relationship with the grandchild. But if both parents determine that the grandparents don’t deserve visitation, the court will probably believe that to be in the child’s best interest.
During a divorce, multi-generational families might fight over money with grandkids as the stakes. Before or after a divorce, if a grandchild lacks necessities, a grandparent can step in and help financially. Judges differ on how they evaluate those financial gifts. For example, if a stay-at-home mom is continually receiving financial support from her parents to spend on her children, be warned that a judge may decide her estranged husband could pay less in child support or spousal support.
Another issue grandparents face during a divorce is emotional blackmail. Parents may hint to their in-laws that they need something in return for visitation rights to see their grandkids. A solution to this may be to invite the parent over as well, or invite the parent and his/her kids on a vacation. If the parent isn’t fond of spending time with the grandparents, he/she may allow the visit to avoid having to confront the in-laws.
Divorce can be a sticky situation, to say the least, particularly when it involves many generations of people in a family. When it’s in the child’s best interest, hopefully grandparents are able to spend quality time with their grandkids, regardless of the marital status of the parents.