The holidays can be the happiest time of year for many families. But there are few people who aren’t at least a little stressed and over-emotional by late-December. The tension and the stress of the holidays can definitely feel greater to split families. We know that no matter the status or situation of your marriage, parents’ biggest desire during the holidays is that their children will be joyful and enjoy the celebrations.
When you’re parenting children out of two homes during the holiday season, stress levels between you and your ex can reach a breaking point. The holidays can also stir up a lot of emotion in your children, especially if they’re not used to only celebrating with one parent at a time. To keep things in perspective and help your children through this time of year, parenting expert Christina McGhee recently offered these tips:
Keep your emotions in check. Your children will be taking cues from you, and while it may not be the easiest time of year, show them the joy you want to see in them. Be aware of where you might need a little more support and love, and have a plan to meet those needs so you can meet the needs of your children.
Remember silence isn’t always golden. Be sure to have open communication with your children. Listen to what is important to them this season and what they may be struggling with.
Create meaning, not madness. Find ways to slow down, relax and remember what’s important. Don’t overdue the madness of the holidays and miss out on the great season that it could be.
Different doesn’t have to be devastating. The out-with-the-old philosophy might work for you this season, and it’s not a bad idea. There might be room for change in your holiday traditions, even though it may not feel like it. Think about new things you and your children can do together instead of dwelling on what will no longer happen.
Make gift giving painless for the kids. Consider going the extra mile and helping your children buy a gift for your ex. If that’s something you used to help them with, don’t leave them stranded. It will send all the right messages to them and make their duties as kids a little bit easier.
Give gifts without strings. Do your best to coordinate gift giving with your ex. How will you feel when your child wants to take his/her gift to the other household? Try to work together, or at least be considerate. Gift giving with an agenda to “beat” your ex or outshine them never ends well.
We wish you the happiest of holidays this year, and we encourage you to embrace your family changes and have a game plan to make the most of every special day with your children.