Dealing with Change

One of the hardest parts of divorce for most people is the amount of change that will occur. Many of the stable things in your life that have been that way for potentially many years change rapidly. Change is inevitable when divorcing or separating. But here are a few tips from Cheryl Dillon, CPC, ELI-MP that can help you through the process:

Acknowledge the change. Admit to yourself that you can’t try to control the change and it will happen whether you want it to or not. It can be hard to let go of many areas of your life that may become very different, but the faster you can let things go the faster you can begin to move on.

Change the way you’re thinking. Instead of dwelling on the fact that things are changing, start asking yourself what your options are. Learn to look at your life with a new perspective. Most people don’t realize that you CAN choose to be happy. In this case, choose to be positive and you’ll begin seeing the bright side to the changes.

Focus on areas that aren’t changing. You’re still you, you’ll still have many of your friends and family and many people still love you. Don’t forget these things as you’re dwelling upon the things that are no longer present. Be grateful for all the things and people that you do still have.

Find a support person. In this day and age you definitely know someone who has gone through a divorce. People who haven’t can’t totally understand, so find someone that has and confide in that person. Don’t sue your kids as vent sessions. Use the person that will understand and support you through the process.

Keep moving forward. Things will get better if you decide they will!