Even though statistics show divorcees can be more depressed and even die earlier than married individuals, there are ways to be happily divorced. Is it really possible to create a happy divorce? Yes!
One way to stay positive during this stressful time is to avoid going to divorce court at all. This is done by hiring a qualified divorce lawyer who then works with a mediator (usually a retired judge) to broker a smooth separation rather than an all-out battle.
Hiring a reputable lawyer and mediator can go a long way to showing your spouse that you want to avoid a divorce war at all costs.
Here’s some more advice for making your divorce as much of a positive experience as possible:
- Take control of your life by educating yourself about the divorce process.
- Communicate openly with your spouse and your divorce lawyer about your desire for a “happy” divorce.
- Don’t view your spouse as the enemy and try your best to “make peace” with him or her.
- Control your emotions and don’t allow yourself to do anything negative, spiteful, vicious or retaliatory even if your spouse turns spiteful.
- Stop judging and start forgiving. Also, remember to stop blaming your spouse and start accepting responsibility for your failed marriage and your actions.
- Become hyper aware of when the divorce process is making you stressful or angry and put steps in place (meditation, breathing, yoga, music therapy) to help you control your emotions, ease your stress and become positive in just a few moments.
- Stay focused on your vision of creating a positive divorce and relationship transition.
- If you have children with your spouse, think about working with a family therapist to create a respectful co-parenting relationship with your soon-to-be ex spouse.
- Also, remember that if you have kids together, your relationship will technically never be “over.” Divorce is just the beginning of a lifetime of decisions you will make and life events (graduations, weddings, birthday parties) you will attend together. This is the time to accept this new way of parenting and to create positive ways to interact so everyone in the family can be happy.
Through all the emotional and financial ups and downs, don’t look at divorce as a winner and loser prospect. Try your best to make your divorce a win-win situation for everyone involved.
For more information on how divorce mediation services can save you money and create a “happy” divorce, visit https://www.cadivorce.com/areas-of-practice/mediation-services.