Most people would agree that an affair is devastating to a marriage. Once those suspicions have been confirmed, there are two ways to address the situation: talk to the offending spouse immediately, or take some time before confronting them about the situation.
The problem with waiting is that the problem only gets bigger because it isn’t addressed. Affairs don’t resolve themselves, and the reality is that hoping it will go away creates intense, bottled up emotions and the potential for another affair increases.
The trauma of an affair can make your relationship stronger.
However, an affair doesn’t guarantee the end of your marriage, and it is up to you and your spouse to decide how to proceed with the revelation of infidelity. The trauma of an affair can make your relationship stronger if both partners are on the same page emotionally and physically. But those same hurt feelings of broken trust can make reconciliation an impossible task.
Each extramarital affair situation is different, but the bottom line is that you need to be true to yourself and understand the effects of infidelity on your marriage. If you decide to stay together, both you and your spouse need to commit to working through your problems. If both partners can’t dedicate themselves equally, the marriage could be headed towards an unfortunate and hastened ending.
If you are dealing with your spouse’s affair, take these five steps into consideration:
- Think about your best interests first, then follow through on your decision.
- Don’t make the situation worse with irrational decisions motivated by anger. Instead, think about your long-term goals, and consider the ramifications of your actions on them.
- Don’t over think things or ask yourself, “Why?”
- Legal action may not be in the cards immediately, but consulting with a family law attorney, such as the experienced ones at Bohm Wildish & Matsen, will educate you on divorce and your options.
- While you are processing this information and mulling your options, stay quiet about the affair around your children.
Affairs are extremely detrimental to a marriage and often lead to a divorce. The attorneys at Bohm Wildish & Matsen are waiting for your call so they can explain your options and give you advice on the best way to proceed further towards reconciling or terminating your marriage.