A divorce hangover keeps you connected to your ex-spouse and your past. It can be very hard to work through because it costs time, money, energy, self-esteem, emotional healing, and potential new relationships. Follow these ten steps to overcome the divorce hangover and move forward with your life:
1. Stop, Breathe, and Think
Pressing pause to evaluate your situation helps to manage your emotions. Seeking a counselor can also ground you when things feel out of control.
2. Explore Your Past and Learn from it
Look at your past and the relationships you’ve had. Gain insight into your selection process, marriage expectations, and reasons behind your divorce in order to understand where you’ve been and how to get to where you want to be.
Concentrate on what you have in life, not what you have lost.
3. Recognize Your Stage of Loss
The grieving stages include shock and denial, bargaining (depression), anger, resignation, and acceptance. Recognizing which stage you’re at will allow you to work towards fully healing from the divorce.
4. Grieve; Feel the Pain
The grieving process is unique to each person. Divorce can be devastating and force some major life changes, and you deserve to recognize, grieve, and accept those adjustments as they come.
5. Express Anger Constructively, Not Destructively
Anger takes the form of revenge, rage, blame, violence, or feeling out of control. Destructive anger keeps the divorce pains lingering, but constructive anger can be channeled into personal and professional progress.
6. Find Empowerment by Regaining Control Over Thoughts and Actions
Do what you need to do to regain control over your life. Get professional counseling, go to school, learn new skills, go to support groups, and nurture yourself to becoming the best you can be.
7. Turn Negative Attitudes into Positive Attitudes
Concentrate on what you have in life, not what you have lost.
8. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem. Start with Random Acts of Kindness
Creating an atmosphere of good will and good faith builds your confidence and self-esteem almost immediately. Take the high road whenever possible, and hang out with healthy people that can impart advice and be there for you.
9. Set Realistic Goals
Decide what you want and how you get there. Then as Yoda said: “Do or do not, there is no try.”
10. Reward Yourself from Time to Time
Choose healthy, constructive rewards. They can be anything from a long walk to a movie ticket to a new pair of shoes. Whatever you decide, you deserve to be treated well, especially as you’re getting over a painful divorce.
Our firm aids in your divorce process beyond the court room proceedings, and cares about your state of mind after the divorce is complete. Set up a personal consultation below with one of their divorce lawyer experts.