Affairs are one of the most devastating things that could happen to a marriage, as they shake the foundations of trust you had built up with your spouse.
Some people confront their spouse about suspecting an affair immediately, but for the most part coming to grips with those suspicions is a long struggle.
An affair doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is over.
Unfortunately, the possibility of an affair can be so frightening to most people that they suppress their awareness or hope it is just temporary and/or insignificant. Eventually you’re going to have to come to terms with your spouse’s affair and address it.
An affair doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is over, but commitment from both parties is necessary to resolve this very serious issue. Affairs are the most devastating possibility for a relationship, next to death, and if both sides are serious about working through and addressing the problems it is possible to reconcile the marriage.
Reconciliation can lead to a significantly stronger relationship because the weakness driving the affair is dealt with by both spouses so they feel the same sense of loss and resolution.
The depth of trauma to a relationship’s trust caused by an affair can be shattering and take many months or years to rebuild. Repairing this trauma is not an easy or quick process, and requires full commitment from both partners in the marriage. A lack of total commitment could inevitably lead to a divorce.
If you discover your spouse has had an affair, consider the following steps:
- Don’t take any action until you’ve decided what’s in your best interests.
- Identify and set your goals. Act in ways that leave you with open options that still preserve your interests. A serious problem doesn’t need to become a disaster, so proceed with caution and carefully plan each of your steps.
- Educate yourself about your legal options with a family law attorney. However, do not make threats to take legal action.
- Manage your anger and negative feelings, and do not let powerful emotions overwhelm your sense of reason.
- Don’t drive yourself crazy asking, “Why?”
- Last and perhaps most importantly, do not discuss the affair with your children.
Affairs are one of the most heart-wrenching experiences you can ever have as a married couple. The attorneys at Bohm Wildish are committed to your best interests and assuring that your partner’s infidelity is taken into consideration in a California divorce.