Transitioning from living with your spouse and raising your children to raising kids alone can be a much bigger challenge than you might imagine. There are many issues that you will need to work through post-divorce or separation, but trying to assume the responsibilities of both parents and learn how to co-parent might be one of the largest. Divorce creates significant pain for your children, and you want to do everything in your power to make the process and the future years as easy as possible for you and your kids. A blog post on Ladies Flight shared the following tips for the transition:
– Stop speaking poorly about your ex. It doesn’t help anyone. It can make your children think ill of you, it can damage their faith in one of both of you, and it’s just showing the harbored resentment still inside of you. If you have to vent about your ex, your kids should not be the people you vent to.
– Constantly tell your children how much you love them and how special they are. That might seem like an obvious point, but go above and beyond in this trying time to make sure they feel the same amount of love they once felt in a two-parent household.
– Do NOT use your children as spies. Stalking your ex will only make you obsess over the split more, and it’s not healthy. But if you have to keep tabs on him/her, using your children is the worst thing you can do.
– Don’t compete over finances. This is all too common in places like Orange County. One parent is likely to have more resources or financial wealth, but don’t compare yourselves. Money truly can’t buy happiness, and it especially can’t buy your child’s love. Even if they don’t realize it now, they’ll know you tried to buy their love when they look back on their childhood. That’s not the post-divorce impression you want to leave.