Overwhelmingly, in a divorce settlement, the primary custody of the children goes to the mom. This often leaves Orange County dads out in the cold. Sometimes dads don’t even try to get custody because they feels it is a lost cause.
It may seem that the dads are kind of overlooked in the whole situation. There are numerous studies on the impact of divorce on children, and almost as many on the impact divorce has on the wife, but far fewer that focus on how the dad is affected. Those studies that have dealt with what happens to dads after a divorce give the following information:
1. Divorced men are far more likely to commit suicide than single or married men.
2. Divorced men drink more alcohol that divorced women.
3. Since nearly two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women; after a divorce, men often feel rejected and discarded.
According to Florence Kraslow in her book, Divorced Fathers and Their Families , these harmful feelings include a sense of loss and bereavement, that often lasts for years. All too often this negative mind-set can become a hindrance to a close relationship between fathers and children creating life-long difficulties
One positive note in all this negativity is that divorced dads who stay involved in their children’s lives fared much better psychologically. In addition, the involved dads were far more likely to go out of their way to provide stable homes where their children could thrive. It’s apparent that more research and education is needed to help men deal with divorce.