No one gets divorced because they are just a little upset with their spouse. In most cases, what was once a marriage filled with love and promise has soured, and you now find that your best friend has turned into a stranger you hardly recognize. If your marriage ended due to infidelity or if you absorbed years of physical or verbal abuse, then you may understandably want to hurt your spouse as much as possible through the divorce process.
However, no matter how you feel, your divorce shouldn’t be a means of vengeance. It should be a means of closing one chapter of your life and opening up a new and brighter chapter.
A Contentious Divorce Is an Expensive Divorce
You may want to fight tooth and nail to take as much away from your spouse as possible during the divorce process, but the only one who wins in this type of scenario is your divorce lawyer who will be able to rack up lots of billable hours. If you are completely unwilling to negotiate with your spouse, then your divorce will need to be settled through the court system.
Going to court is a long and arduous process. It often takes months to get on the docket, and your lawyer can bill you for every hour he or she is in court, even if you end up waiting three hours until your case is called. Likewise, the more you fight, the more expert witnesses you’ll have to call, and each of those witnesses will need to be paid for their time and expertise.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face?” Well, if you want to “stick it” to your spouse by fighting over your estate, then you may successfully make his or her life a lot more difficult for a long time, but, eventually, you’ll both be a lot poorer.
Mediate What You Can, Fight for the Rest
At Bohm Wildish, we have a saying, “mediate what you can and fight for the rest.” There are certainly good reasons to go to court and to fight for what you want, but litigation should always be considered a last resort. No matter how much you loathe your spouse, the best thing you can do in most circumstances is to mediate what you can to limit your court battles.
In mediation, you and your spouse work together with the guidance of a neutral, third-party mediator to discuss and agree on a fair divorce settlement. You’ll need to keep the flames of your anger, hurt, and betrayal at bay and approach this process in the spirit of collaboration and compromise.
Mediation is much less expensive than litigation, much swifter, and much less stressful than court. Of course, litigation always remains an option for anything you and your spouse can’t agree on in mediation.
The Best Revenge is Financial Stability
The best way to get your revenge on your spouse is to forget all about him or her as you start a new and happier chapter of your life. What good will your revenge be if you come out of the divorce process broke and exhausted from your court battles? Rather, keep your money and start over on solid financial footing. Your ability to live a happy and successful life without your spouse will speak volumes!