For months your relationship with your spouse has been off; you have that gut feeling that things are heading sour, but still you try to pretend everything is perfect. Letting go of something that may already be over is a difficult and painful lesson to learn. But there are a few common signs that will help you figure out if your marriage is heading for divorce.
Ten Signs You’re Heading for Divorce
- No Communication
Communication is a major factor for any healthy relationship, whether with your spouse or coworkers. It is especially crucial to sustaining a marriage for the long run. If you and your spouse have stopped confiding in each other, or even just stopped sharing all the little details of your daily lives, it’s a red flag the void may be deepening between you two, and divorce is on your horizon.
- Un-Coupling Occurs
If you and your spouse are more commonly seen out and about minus one, there may be a problem. Although a little independence is healthy in a marriage, if you both default to going out and pursuing activities as a single rather than as a couple, you are already starting to separate your lives, especially if those events or activities are ones you used to enjoy together.
- No-Compromise Reached
Arguing can be a healthy way to communicate within a relationship, and although no one likes to be wrong, couples do learn to balance how to reach a middle ground with their spouse. However, if things have turned upside down and you or your spouse can never find that middle ground or compromise for one-another, unless you can figure out how to break through the stalemate you may be fighting a losing battle with your partner.
- Disagreement about Children
If you don’t have children already, and disagree on whether or not you will, all may not be lost. However, if you are both on completely opposite ends of the want-them-don’t-want-them scale, this will most likely be a deal breaker. This is a conversation that needs to happen between you and your spouse, since an unexpected surprise may be the tipping point if your partner is absolutely against having children.
- No Respect
Respect is another crucial element in having a healthy relationship. If you having been feeling disrespected by your spouse, address those feelings directly with them. There is a chance that they may be clueless as to what you are feeling, but if this doesn’t change, you can’t continue to ignore it.
- Issues Go Unsolved
If there are important issues you and your spouse are having, you should be able to reach a solution together. However, if you have to throw out an ultimatum, and still no agreement has been managed, you may need to start thinking about just how fulfilling your marriage has become.
- Fantasizing about Freedom
Although independence, as previously stated is a good thing, and fantasizing about it during particularly bad times in a marriage can be a reassuring thought, ongoing fantasies may indicate you’re stuck in a dynamic you can’t get out of.
- You Never Confide in Each Other
This goes hand-in-hand with communicating, yet this takes the communication barrier a step further. Confiding in one another is an important way to relieve stress, strengthen your bond and maintain a healthy “us against the world” mentality about your relationship. A lack of confiding may indicate an insufficient amount of trust in your marriage.
- Negatives Outweigh the Positives
Every relationship goes through a roller coaster effect; there are natural ups and downs throughout the course of the relationship. Getting through those difficult times usually strengths the relationship, and bring you and your spouse closer together. However, if the negative parts of the relationship start outweighing the positives, you may be coming to a stop in your relationship. You should have a healthy, happy marriage overall, speckled with minor bumps and turmoil, not a bitter and difficult marriage sprinkled with tiny highlights of short-lived happiness.
- Only One Spouse Is Trying
If it gets to the point that one of you has withdrawn from putting forth any effort into the relationship, whether it be via communication, outings, or attempting to resolve issues, it may be time to let go. One person cannot do all the trying on his or her own; if it’s been a long time of this pattern, it may be time to stop trying and walk away.
If you are reaching a point where you can’t go on anymore in your marriage, and several warning signs are present, it may be time to talk to a divorce lawyer. A lawyer will be able to guide you on what to do and how to protect yourself. Although it may be the most difficult life lesson to learn, letting go of an unhealthy, and deteriorating relationship may be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.