People spend a lot of time talking about how tobe happy post-divorce. That includes how to move on, date again, co-parent, etc. But what about the time while you’re in divorce? Unfortunately divorce can be a long process- sometimes it can take years, God forbid. Here are three easy steps Dr. Lisa Kaplin shared with HuffPost regarding the best ways to be happy in a divorce:
Think of this as a step in the right direction. It doesn’t really matter who’s leaving who. If you’re getting divorced, it’s for the best. Even if you’re not totally convinced it’s for the best, that mentality won’t help you. Remind yourself that things happen for a reason. Holding onto your ex during the process and hoping that it will turn around will most likely only hurt yourself in the long run. If you have serious resentment or anger, you may truly benefit from professional help (counseling).
Fake it til you make it. Seriously, it’s one of the easiest ways to turn your attitude around. If you repeatedly tell a child something that he/she doesn’t believe, that child will eventually believe it. Same concept. Keep telling yourself you’re happy or you will be happy and you’ll start to naturally look for the happy things in your life. The positive influences are moments are there, you just may have to try harder to find them. Find out what makes you happy and go after it.
Do NOT think that you don’t deserve happiness. Don’t think that you can’t make it through this divorce in one piece and find love again. No, you’re not old enough. And no, you’re not all used up. You DO, on the other hand, get a second start. So take advantage of it!
Bottom line- choose happiness!