California Divorce Guide Blog

The Family Law firm of Bremer & Whyte provides this blog as a supplement to our California Divorce Guide.  The Guide is a thorough explanation of the divorce process in the state of California.  We will provide articles, advice and tips that will help you manage your divorce financially, emotionally, and with respect to your family.

Nothing will replace the professional guidance you will receive from the representation of a family law attorney, but it’s our goal that the California Divorce Guide will enable you to understand the divorce process and court procedures.  Knowledge will help you to navigate the California family law system with less stress and confusion – regardless of whether you choose to retain a divorce lawyer or not.

Recent Articles

Mar 1, 2014
How to Succeed at Divorce

We spend a lot of time talking about how to “get through” a divorce, but what about coming out on top? Is it possible to “succeed” at divorce? The editors at HuffPost think so, and we agree. With the help of an experienced family divorce attorney, you can “win” divorce.

Dec 23, 2013
Divorce: A New Year’s Resolution

Posted by Family Law: It’s mid-way through December, so if you haven’t started thinking of your new year’s resolutions yet… it’s time. “Divorce” is certainly not as common as “going to the gym” when it comes to resolutions. In fact, it may seem odd. However, Bari Weinberger, Esq. believes that it’s fairly common… and a good idea.

Dec 19, 2013
When Co-Parenting is Tough

Parenting is known as the hardest job in the world, and that’s when both parents are under one roof. After a divorce or separation, parenting (or “co-parenting”) can be even more challenging. You’ll go through ups and downs, and some days will be more challenging than others. Psychologist Dr. Peggy Kruger Tietz recently shared some advice about what to do when it’s not going as well as you’d hoped, and we thought we’d share that here:

Dec 1, 2013
Gray Divorce Revolution

A used-to-be great marriage, three kids and a few dogs later… there is an increasing number of spouses that are getting divorced in their 40′s and 50′s. Once you send the last kid of to college and you actually have to start focusing on your relationship again, your relationship may crumble.

Nov 14, 2013
New California Law Will Allow For More Than Two Legal Parents

California Governor Jerry Brown recently signed a bill into a law that will allow a child to have more than two legal parents. California is joining two other states and D.C. by making this change.

According to a press release, the bill was written to match the growing number of families with same-sex parents, biological parents, etc. Senator Leno, who wrote the bill, stated to The Sacramento Bee that he doesn’t believe this will be the case for many families, but that it needs to be a possibility for families that are in those circumstances.

The court must look at all “relevant factors” and specifically how they affect the child in determining if someone should legally have more than two parents.

The new law will take effect in 2014.

Nov 9, 2013
Spruce Up Your Home

Author and divorce blogger Lois Tarter recently wrote a post regarding a new, fun way to help you move on from your marriage– a home makeover! You may have the place to yourself now, and the way your house/apartment looks may remind you of your husband or wife. It may not be the smartest time to invest in a big renovation or new home, but there are cheap ways to do it right.

Nov 1, 2013
How to Prepare For Your First Mediation Session

We’ve discussed in this blog whether you should or shouldn’t use mediation, what it is, how it can help, etc. So let’s assume that you’ve decided to go through with the process. Where do you start? Divorce Mediator Michelle Rozen recently shared these eight things you should do prior to your first mediation session, and we want to share them here with you:

Oct 28, 2013
Using Experts in Divorce

While our family law attorneys are experienced in helping families throughout the divorce process, they are experts in the law. Child advocate Caroline Choi recently shared a few other experts you may want to consider using, and we thought we’d share her information with you. An expert can be court-appointed or retained by you and/or your spouse.

Oct 17, 2013
Negotiate or Litigate

That’s the million dollar question. Everyone going through a divorce needs to decide what process they’ll take. The decision you make may have a great impact on you and on your loved ones who will ultimately feel the pain of the divorce as well– such as your children.

Oct 11, 2013
Telling Your Child He/She Needs Therapy

The simple title of this post could cause some parents anxiety. For a variety of reasons, some parents are truly terrified to even try to tell their children that they may need to see a therapist. Many children should see a therapist after their parents divorce or separate, but that’s a tough thing to talk about.

Will they be angry? Defensive? Emotional? Will he think that you see him as a failure or not mentally stable? Psychotherapist Kate Scharff believes that the parents often have a harder time believing that their kids need therapy than the children do. Here’s what she says you can do to make the discussion go as smooth as can be:

Wait for a calm moment. This may seem like common sense, but you’d be surprised how many parents will get into a fight with their child and, in the heat of the moment, yell “You need therapy!” This is obviously not a good idea and will only elicit a negative response.

Identify the problem. Don’t make vague statements about what you think may be happening. Tell them exactly what you’ve noticed that has concerned you. This may help them realize some of their issues that therapy might help fix.

Offer compassion. Again, this might not need to be stated, but be as compassionate as possible. Your child will need comforting and an understanding ear to speak to.

Explain therapy. Research it and study how therapy works. This will take away some of the mystery and scariness.

Once therapy is underway…

Don’t “grill” your child. He/she may want to talk all about it or not at all. It’s ok to ask a question or two, but don’t ask 20. That may actually be quite counterproductive.

Remind them that therapy is a resource, but don’t say it too often. And please, do NOT say it as a defense mechanism… ie- “You should really see your therapist more often…” in a heated moment.

Don’t use therapy as discipline. Don’t make your child see it as a punishment, or he/she will never want to go.

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