Are you willing to take control of your life?

From: The Eight Questions You Need to Ask
By Bruce Derman, Ph.D. and Wendy Gregson, MS, LMFT

Are you willing to take control of your life in a responsible and mature way?

Whether you are the one who wants the divorce or the one who has to respond to your spouse wanting the divorce both situations have one thing in common, the marriage is ending.

How people respond to this fact determines the type of divorce and future they will have. They can come from a position of bitterness, revenge or helplessness or they can negotiate for their future from a position of strength, understanding and respect.

The attitude you choose will determine the type of divorce you have. Your options are as follows:

You can make agreements that:

Protect your rights only	or	Respect your spouse's rights too
Are only good for you	or	Are good for everyone
Give your spouse less	or	Give your spouse what is rightfully theirs
Do not inconvenience you	or	Work well for everyone
Need frequent court hearings to enforce	or	Need no court hearings to enforce

It is our experience that people who prepare themselves by first addressing all 8 questions are more likely to have a collaborative divorce.

By starting the process in this way they are much better able to make lasting agreements with each other, resolve their difficulties and develop parenting plans that both supports the children and respects each other's rights.

Divorce