Finding a Divorce Lawyer

Start by asking for recommendations from close friends or family members (your friends and your family -- not your spouse's) who have been through a divorce. If you can't get any personal recommendations, there are professional organizations that offer divorce lawyer referral services (see "Divorce Lawyer Referral Services").

After your initial conversation with a divorce lawyer, you should be able to answer these questions:

• Does this lawyer listen to me when I talk?
• Is the lawyer interested in what my goals are, or only with his or her own goals? "

Look for someone who:

• Practices matrimonial or family law.
• Has a lot of divorce experience.
• Is a skilled negotiator?
• Is firm, but reasonable.
• Is compatible with you and your goals.
• Is totally candid.
• Is not in conflict with your best interest.

Don't share a divorce lawyer with your spouse; don't hire your spouse's best friend (even if she's a friend of yours, too), business partner, or any member of your spouse's family to represent you -- even if you're on good terms with them. Aside from the obvious conflict of interest involved, you'll have created enemies -- and probably a whole new family feud -- before your divorce settles.

Your choice will be partially dictated by your spouse's choice: if the divorce is relatively easy and friendly, you can probably agree on what kind of representation you need. If the divorce is very bitter; if there's money, assets, or children at stake; or if your spouse is just plain " out to get you, " consider hiring a well respected individual or firm.

As in any profession, there are good divorce lawyers and bad lawyers. It's up to you to do your homework -- and to ask the right questions -- to determine which group your attorney falls into.

Sometimes, despite their best efforts, people end up choosing the wrong divorce lawyers. Normally, a client will gravitate to the lawyer who will fulfill his or her needs -- whether that be for a tough litigator or low-key negotiator.

If it's clear that you've chosen the wrong lawyer don't compound the problem by sticking with them to the bitter end. You'll either prolong the process unnecessarily, or end up with an unacceptable settlement.

Divorce