Do You Still Have Feelings For Your Spouse?

From: The Eight Questions You Need to Ask
By Bruce Derman, Ph.D. and Wendy Gregson, MS, LMFT

Do you still have feelings for your spouse? - Many people who say they want a divorce still have strong feelings for their spouse, but due to an ongoing power struggle in the relationship there is a lack of intimacy and closeness. If this is you, it is best that you work on your relationship prior to deciding to divorce otherwise your feelings of loss will overwhelm you and you may find yourself worse off after the divorce than you are now.

Celine had been married for seven years to a man she loved, who she considered to be a real sweet, gentle guy. However, she was very unhappy about their financial arrangement. She was the responsible one who paid all the expenses, while he seemed to be forever getting them further into debt. She was very stressed and miserable and saw divorce as her only way out of the financial strain she was under.

But because of her feelings for him she was not able to support such a decision or even set a clear boundary, for fear of losing the relationship. With the help of her therapist, Celine recognized that she either needed to either set a clear boundary or be willing to lose the relationship, or else accept that all her hassling was a waste of time.

Divorce