The Do's and Don'ts of Parenting Through Divorce

The Do's of Single Parenting During Divorce

• Encourage the kids to speak about their feelings.
• Tell your children that the divorce was not because of them.
• When your kids are angry, understand where they are coming from. Fear, anger, and sadness are common feelings for kids dealing with divorce.
• Explain what divorce means and tailor the message to their age and maturity.
• Keep your kids updated on changes and events, including a move, activities, and visits with family members.
• Continue to enforce rules that were in place before the split. It's best to stay consistent, even if your spouse is not. A stable home environment is the goal.
• Make time for your kids every day, even if it's only a phone call.
• Work with the other parent to protect the kids from the conflict.
• For children who have a hard time adjusting, seek the help of a family therapist.

Make time for your kids every day, even if it's only a phone call.

The Don'ts of Single Parenting During Divorce

• Don't blame anyone for the divorce.
• Don't be negative; speak positively about your former spouse.
• Never ask your child to take sides with you.
• Don't play games. Communicate with the other parent instead of asking your child to send messages.
• Don't stress out your child. Kepp him or her protected from bad news they don't need to hear.
• Don't treat your child like a friend; be a parent.
• Don't discourage your child from having a relationship with the other parent or step-parent.
• Don't overpromise. Set realistic expectations for your kids that include spending time with them as much as possible.
• Don't underestimate the importance of "I love you." Tell them every day.